Thursday 28 April 2011

Eyebrows Child ( EC)quotes of the day...

As you know, if you have read my past posts, the class within I have been serving my sentemce is known as THE class. To say they are lively is polite. To say they are, on the whole, little shites, is....polite! Challenging and refreshing is what they are. Rude, nasty, mean, sneaky disloyal applies to 90% of them and I am not enlarging those figures for blogtertainment.

BUT> I love them all. I do, I can't help it. Some more than others and it can change day to day, even session to session.
EC is allergic to register maths. It makes him lethargic. He was laid on the desk this morning. I knew he knew he had to do it because I siad Good Morning EC, register task on the board as he passed me in the doorway. He rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders and lolloped in slow motion to his desk. Don't worry, dear reader, I practise FULL equality in my practice ( C'mon - do I have it the right way round without going to check???)

The way I stand at the classroom door and say register task on the board to every child may have you thinking this is a new initiative and they need help remembering this new morning routine. No. In September AAAALLLL those months ago they were shown and told what we do and how we do it in a morning. They are to line up on the whistle. Sorry, that's line up QUIETLY. They file SILENTLY into school SINGLE FILE " One behind the other" ( If I say that a million times a day it's not enough) one girl one boy. This is to lessen chaos on our ancient narrow corridor and to stagger slightly and lessen cloakroom gridlock thus ensuring children reach the classroom in a quiet orderly fashion ready for the school day ahead. SIMPLE>you would agree?
They put their lunch on the lunch trolley ( FILL IT  FROM THE BOTTOM PLEASE ) ( They NEVER do) and walk to their desk, unpack their book bag and place book bags in centre of table neatly and commence the register task - usually a cartoony visual maths problem - the teacher then takes the register quickly and then the school lunch register and children can choose which meal they want off the menu that the teacher only has to read  out the once, coloured cards are quickly handed out and then teacher says Tables 1 2 and 3 anything to hand in and line up. Children stand quietly, tuck chairs in quietly,, letters homework etc handed into special silver tray  and then form quiety orderly line and wait to go to the hall for worship. Table 4,5 & 6 follow suit. Time taken for ANY OTHER CLASS in the whole world to do this? 5 minutes tops. Once they've been trained it almost runs itself.
The current Year 6? It's like the Battle of the Somme EVERY EFFIN DAY!!!! Again, I am not lying.
8.30am - most of the children already in yard
8.45am - teacher goes out on duty
8.55am bell goes - all children stand still ( except Y6 kids)
8.55am Teacher blows whistle and all children WALK to line up in lines of boys and girls and wait quietly for their class teacher to lead them in
9.00am Y6 teacher still waiting for 2 quiet lines
9.03am when most children in a line quickly lead them in. Stop at the wall. Put children in to single file ( ONE BEHIND THE OTHER) set off. Get to next wall . Teacher stops and again calls several children by name to stop talking and get into line. Get to the door. Stoip and wait for quiet again. Teacher leads them into school TAS on corridor maintaining quiet order have to raise voices to Y6. Y6 classroom is the nearest the door yet it's almost ten minutes after the bell when they are coming in the room!!!
Children congregate together chatting, three stepford children ( O god how I heart them) have sat down, emptied their folders, started register task.  Class teacher asks Y6 to leave the room, line up and enter like they should. this time we get about 56% compliance.  Class then are told they are breaking rule 6 and will have names taken from this point on...( I'll do the rules and Golden Time and out new star challenge tomorrow) so we have quiet to take the register. The lunch menus have to be read out several times. Not all the children put their hands up so we have to have a recount everyday! Invaraibly we are last class to worship everyday. When we get there we get different looks from the other staff mainly ones of 'you poor girls, glad it's not us, smug that it's not us, sympathy been there done that got the t shirt ones too'

I am not exaggerating the level of low level disruption, defiance ( open) rudeness to adults and simple illmanneredness of a lot of these children and now reading r=this back I am disheartened that we have not managed to tame them. The thing is, every single lesson, be it fun, routine or boring bring sthe same apathetic response from them. We keep planning fun, creative lessons to engage them. It is a battle to get them quiet enough to tell them about the fun they can have!! I have suceeded sometimes and they are GREAT at having fun. When you have sorted out the total lack of caring and understanding they show each other in group work. They have NO imagination ( except the Stepfords and EC when he wants) . I cannot understand how they talk to each other so much in class when all they do at playtime is fall out!

It's late and I have rambled on for too long. I can and will tell you more about this class. They are not all bad and I will miss them come July.

EY told me as we were chatting during worship time ( I kept him out to do his register maths)  EC was sat at one desk and I was marking some books at another. He just out of the blue as we were chatting about how he needs more sleep said thathe is going to stab Boy X as he annoys him. Just cold words. I said pardon? I thought I'd heard wrong.
EC " I am going to stab him, he annoys me"
Me - " But you can't do that to someone. You will NOT stab anyone you keep your hands to yourself"
EC " But he annoys me"

Me " That is no excuse. what are you going to stab him with?"
EC A pencil, I already have stabbed him with a pen last year in his shoulder"
Me " What happened?"
EC " Nothing" But he stopped annoying me for a while but now he's annoying me again.
Me " You cannot go around hurting people just because they are annoying you. You are old enough to be arrested for assault you know. You DO NOT hurt anyone and keep your hands to yourself"
EC"Well, can you move him away from me?

Me " I can make sure you are sat so you can work with no distractions.

EC " I will stab him though"
Me " Look that is not how to sort things out. What will you do when you are a grown up and someone annoys you. You can't just stab them.
EC " I will just taser gun them"
Me Stunned silnce!
EC " I'm going to be a policeman and I'll have a taser gun.
ME " Well , if you stab someone in school you will have a record and the police won't let you join.
EC" I'm done chatting now Let me get on with this"
I have said for three years that this boy needs to be assessed. I would say he is def high on Autistic Spectrum/Aspergers. His parents won't have it. Despite the fact they said the satff have trouble managing him he is just like his peers. No. He is not. He has no concept of tact or diplomacy and he cannot read those invisible social ettiquette things that enable society to exist. I worry ofr him at High School where his new teachers won't KNOW him and will see his outbursts as rude and ill mannered. If you have a fat bottom he will tell you. It;s the truth. he has no qualms. He never listens. He declares lessons boring. rules should not apply to him . I could go on and on.


  1. I will go back and do my speeeeling corexions tomorrow!

  2. Sounds like a fun class! I love my loonies too. In fact the madder the class, the happier I am.
    Behaviour management is our speciality at my place, we have children with EBD and the rest just have a LOT of issues. If you dont have the behaviour side sorted, you cant teach. Simples! My first year there, my 2 TAs I worked with would just keep repeating "Its not you, its them" - its still my mantra! :-)
    Keep fighting the good fight.

  3. The class teacher, me and the TA have been on a countdownto July since September!! We held a Royal Wedding Tea Party today that the children had all worked towards. We'd cleverly ( We thought) worked the curriculum around it and this afternoon was the outcome. A joint effort between Y5 & Y6, Y5 did country dancing for us, they performed the NAtional anthem better than us - but we managed the coup. A food fight. The staff could have cried. Just the few hardchore little grots ruined the afternoon...for themselves - they were ceremonially hoiked off indoors by the outraged Head for some quality handwriting time!!!

  4. lmao your class is soo funny. Your blog won't be anywhere near as funny next year unless its something that happens to them as they turn into yr6's lol


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