This was what faced me yesterday. (I shamelessly nicked this off The Twitter as I couldn’t put it better myself! )
“Welcome to HRMC online.
Please enter you login
Now enter your Gateway ID
Now User ID
Government ID please
Enter a code we've texted your old number
There's a scroll in your garden. Find it.
Latin name for fox
Your name in Sanskrit
176th digit of Pi
We couldn't identify you.
Your first girlfriend's mother's maiden name
Capital of Belarus
King Arthur's burial coordinates
Last three letters of your father in law's number plate
Your inner-most fear
Your provisional driving license expiry date “
Then, when, you are in, and you’ve not clicked anything for 3 nanoseconds because you are trying to decipher the questions, you are logged back out for security reasons and have to GO THROUGH IT ALL AGAIN!!
I’m absolutely certain that most tax evasion in the UK is by people who lose the will to live in trying to get onto their online account and give up!!
Anyway, it’s done. I’ve repeated all my vows to the dining room wall about how I’m going to do the accounts every month. Both me and the wall know I’m lying!
Lots of love from
Rachel *top accountant* Radiostar xx