Thursday 30 June 2011

I predict a pretty much stress free working day today

This is because the majority of the teachers at my school are in the NUT and they are ON STRIKE over pensions or something. I haven't really been taking notice. As a HLTA am I a public sector worker? Do I need to be worrying? My colleague said that the proposed cuts to her pension will cost 250K. I was like YOU WHAT?????????????? I can't believe they'll get so much! I really am thick as the proverbial pig droppings where stuff lke this is concerned.

Now I get my pension statements every year and I get a few. Because I have held a few roles in the school. I then file them away. I don't even understand the notes the send to help you understand it all.
This is what my Unison Person says
"This week, on behalf of the public service unions, I am leading discussions with the government on pensions. I have said all along that I want to reach a negotiated settlement, avoiding strike action all together. Our members – loyal public servants – want to keep services running.

But for this to happen, the government must commit to real talks – with contribution rates, retirement ages and the move from RPI to CPI to calculate pension payments, all on the agenda for genuine discussion.

We give our full support to our brothers and sisters in PCS, NUT and ATL, taking action on Thursday over pensions – their fight is our fight – and UNISON will be taking part in demonstrations up and down the country to support them. Our advice to school and college staff is clear – do not cover unless it is part of your job.

And I send support to our members taking action on the same day in Camden, Doncaster Birmingham and Southampton, over job cuts."

I can't be asked to cover as we have no children in! So will get shitloads of admin crap done.

Interesting Grown Up Stuff About The Strike Here

 I know you can't tell, but I've just been ages reading up on that stuff , was looking to see if I will be affected! I dunno - I probably will be but I FULLY support ALL of my colleagues in their action today. The Government cannot make people worker longer to get less and expect to have it accepted laying down.

Just found the calculator thing.
IF it does apply to me and I think it surely will I will pay more and LOSE a LOT of money.
In shock.

But my outlook is what will happen tomorrow is I may get hit  by a bus so I am living for today. Too much tradgey in my family learnt me that lesson.

Besides I might win the lottery ( and will probably get hit by that bus as I am on my way to collect my winnings)

Just noticed that an error occurred while saving so posting now!. No am copying now then posting!
 Think this is my first grown up ish post!!!

GRRRRR BAD ERROR ???????????????// Will paste and save on word for later

Monday 27 June 2011

Back again to update you on Harry..

It's all good news - well as good a news as you can hope for at this stage after a particularly gruelling 2 weeks.

Read about Harry here

Also I need to go change my profile info but pesky work beckons so once again I amm putting off fully completing BlogWork!

Sorry for being such a shite read!

Well new Blog Title, New Decade,

Happy Birthday to meeeee!
 I had a WONDERFUL birthday weekend, and when it came down to it, I wasn't even that arsed about turning the big 40. It's all a load of (tr)hype created bythe media and Hallmark et al.

I havn't been on the computer for a few days, I havn'y  ( Please read this typo with a S
cottish accent)taken photos of prezzies yet but I will and I'll show you just what a spoilt brat I really am!

I did drink some Chenin ( mmmm) some Merlot ( MMMMMMMMMMMMMM) and then some limited edition purple WKD ( MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM)

Lovely it was too. Fell asleep with Brigette Jones on the sofa once all revellers had departed and Mr Wonderful Radiostar tidied party debris all away! 
Today is my first working day as a forty year old. I wonder if it'll be any different!!!!!

Tuesday 21 June 2011

Ever had your negative emotional energy sucked out of you?

I have, every day. By the class. Today,  an educational phsychologist had told me this is what the little darlings are up to! I am there favourite toy and they are winding me up and watching me go!

I hasten to add I have been on a SEAL course! I haven't been sent for therapy/treatment!!!
It's been a really really good day. Julie Glynn is a truly inspirational speaker and has told me all that I am doing is WRONG!! Anne Desforges is the other lady whoo is fucking A star top banana. I WILL come back iand fill you in in a bit - for now my troops need feeding!!!

Sunday 19 June 2011

Less than a week to go now...

...till I will have to alter my Blog name...
And A la Mr Gump, that's all I have to say about that.

Friday 17 June 2011

This time 17 years ago I was 3cm dilated!

And that's as far as I ever got. Two weeks over due. Induced. I'd read my books. I'd got to 3cm without it hurting. I KNEW first baby was 1cm an hour, it said so in the books.  I was going to BREEEEZE through this labour.

It didn't say in the books you might not ever get past 3cm. Every time I was checked....3cm.

I'd pestered the midwives to bring Mr Radiostar in from 6am! I was eager to have this baby. It had been due to arrive on June 3rd. I got up June 3rd - nothing happened. I imagined Braxton Hicks ( I might even been guilty of pretending to dearly beloved family I was having them) I wasn't!! I wouldn't know a Braxton Hick if it jumped up and bit me on my arse! I was also the size of a small bungalow. I promise I will find the picture that proves this! )  So all those people who were asking me,  knew full bloody well that I
"hadn't had that baby yet." ( Some people are so TAPS) ( DON'T THEY REALISE THAT ON THE 3RD JUNE I'D DUTIFULLY TURNED UP AT THE HOSPITAL FOR MY APPT AND BEEN TOLD TO COME BACK IN TWO WEEKS IF NOTHING HAPPENED???????????? EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I SAW ON MY WAY HOME HAD A NEWBORN BABY IN A PRAM YET MINE WAS STILL ON BOARD!)   TWO WEEKS - it was like being told to come back at Christmas. I was hormonal and emotional. They asked me if my fingers and toes had been swelling. I lied and said they had. They were too good at their jobs. They recognised a liar when they saw one!!! They still sent me away!

Ok Ok 17 years on and I am still touchy about this.

So in the interim two weeks I went every where and everywhere. I spent a MASSIVE amount of time in Marks & Spencers ( I even jumped up and down behind the lingerie section) because I'd heard that if your waters break in there you get loads of gifts!

I went further afield. I went with my cousin and an aunt to a shopping centre out of town 30 miles away. We went for a cup of tea. I couldn't fit in the tables/fized chairs combos so had to have a chair brought from the kitchens for me. Even the shame and embarrassment of that did not bring on labour.

So there we were, Mr R was eventually allowed on the ward about 10am. I had my ( how can I put this prudishly) induction medication introduced into my system.
Then we waited. 
Christ it was boring!. I sat and did puzzle books. I had a bit of back ache but thought it was from sitting cross legged on the bed. Hourly obs - 3 cm. They sent us for a walk...but NOT off the ward. 100 million laps later ....3cm.

Then just after 12 noon ( I could see the Town Hall Clock from my room) my back REALLY started hurting. Mr R was rubbing and rubbing my lower back. He rubbed soo hard on my brand new M&S dressing gown his hands went all shiny and he was complaining he couldn't do it any more.
DO. IT. was hissed to him through clenched teeth. Two hours of this and contractions every 5 minutes now ( Thanks Town Hall Clock) .....3cm.
 I was told to have a bath, I paddied, I stropped, I didn't want a bath. Struggled on with pacing the corridors ( we weren't allowed to do stair walking sideways- it hadn't been invented yet!)

Back was hurting so I gave in and had a bath - the bath was wonderful, deep and warm and nice. I was in there for 2 hours. They were knocking in the door wanting me out to check me. I wouldn't get out! They opened the door and TOLD me to get out! How rude...I had no clothes on!!! Get OUT!!!

I'd seen it on the telly, it satisfied my prudish ways. Women give birth fully clothed complete with knickers and tights on.

Men, if you are squeamish, look away now and don't read this next paragraph.

I got out of the bath like a bull elephant rising from the river. I spotted the blood...that was it, I was dying. I got dressed. ( I was going to die fully clothed thank you very much) I took the  blood soaked towel, held aloft like a trophy and wobbled up the corridor to the nurses station. Walking the three miles up the corridor passed all the visiting dads and nurses bringing the meal trolley to the nurses station, I was crying and kept stopping because my back kept hurting. ( Why I hadn't, like a NORMAL person, rang the bell from the bathroom, or just retired to my room and call for a nurse I don't know! I do know, the nurses were busy and I didn't want them rolling their eyes and saying OFFS when I rang my bell)  I wasn't thinking. I was HURTING. CONTRACTIONS REALLY DO FUCKING HURT! But I was like my sister was. quiet. didn't scream or moan. I cried quietly a little bit.
I'm just wondering now should I have called this post " How a Victorianised Prude gives birth
When she was having her second baby mutely she heard the midwives whispering outside her door wondering if she was a Scientologist. They didn't whisper that about me, because it hadn't been invented yet.

 The midwife gently guided me back to my room saying I'd had a "show."

OH NO I HAVE NOT LADY I was thinking grimly to myself.

I have READ my books thank you very much.

Anyway, I was examined....and yep......3cm
But now the contractions were coming thick and fast and I could hardly get my breath plus I was getting tired. Remember, I had been admitted at 8pm the previous evening, examined and been found to be 3cm already, was told to get a good night's sleep by the smiley lady. A good night's sleep? No way - I was 3 cm, it hadn't hurt, a cm an hour , I was going to be having a baby in 7 hours, I was WAY too excited and giddy.
They conceded and took me down to the labour ward as I needed help with these pains. Clearly they weren't contractions because clearly I wasn't CONTRACTING!!!!! ( That's what I was rationally thinking.)

SOOOO , the last time I was examined, more midwives were in and mutterings were goin on at the end of the bed. I was given a Meptid shot. It didn't work. I felt like I was off my face and drunk as a skunk but I felt every single contraction. I wanted an epidural - I couldn't have one till my waters they broke my waters..... the rest is very blurry and MR R, bless him tries his best to tell me the story. I remember leaning over to have epidural. Then it was magic. The pain stopped.
Feel that? asked a midwife as the contraction belt reading scored off the scale on the paper. Feel what I smiled? So now I was tripping away high on Meptid having a lovely time. Then more Docs came in, worried glances at papers, mutterings at end of bed. I think I signed something. They tipped me back and was pricking me with a pin but I could feel it, the epidural was wearing off and they needed to get my baby out. It was in distress. Mr R had gowned up but was then told he couldn't come in as I was whisked away for an emergency C Section.

 9.54pm I had a baby girl. 9lbs 7oz of gorgeous babygirl. She had a cut on her eyebrow. When they opened me up, she was staring up at them. She wasn't going anywhere. I was 3cm. I was 5ft nothing with size 4 feet. I was the size of a small bungalow yet they said she wasn't a big baby!!!! They were WRONG!
We'd bought tiny newborn clothes. No way was she going to fit in them!
She was back to back, hence my back pain and long labour, also she was too big to fit through anywhere! Everytime she'd been squeezed down, she bumped against my cervix and bounced back up - she'd been doing this for about 24 hours !

I hate that my earliest memories are so hazy.  I love that she was so perfect and hate that it was 17 years ago today! My daughter is smart, clever, beautiful and amazing and I would do it all again tomorrow!

Thursday 16 June 2011


And now, nearly 4 hours later it it absobloodylutely chucking it down on my smugly pegged out at 5am washing???????????????????????????????????????? Only tea towels and odd socks - so on the line they can friggin well stay!

Wednesday 15 June 2011

Will it rain today? Of course it will, it's Sport afternoon

The non competative kind of Sports Day. ( I have actually sat here and deliberated whether that needs an apostrophe or not and decided not).

This splits parents into two camps. The Pushy Parent ( from now on PP) and The Right On Parent ( from now on B&L { Beans and lentils LOL private joke with myself}). Now, not one to sweeping generalise ever ( as if  hee hee) The offspring of the PP are called Kyran, Travis, Chardonnay and Paris . The B&L children have such monikers as Tarquin, Quentin, Jessica and Persephone.

PP children ( from now on known as CC = Chav Child) wear Nikeeee tracksuits, rockport trainers just like their 'dads' or 'uncles' except without the gold chain and obligatory leg tattoo of the football team they support - ususally Chelsea - we LIVE OOP NORTH YOU UTTER MORONS support an OOP NORTH TEAM FFS!
B&Lkids wear charity shop offerings or something knitted or woven out of old pairs of jeans.

Have to go but will be back to finish this later on!! I have to post it to remove the last one out of sight on my page - call it self preservation!

Tuesday 14 June 2011

Harry's needing some help.

Poor little sweet baby, He has to go have a feeding tube put in, ( did I already tell you that?) and now his illness is evermore visible - but also he looks so little and poorly and ill. A pale little shadow. So pale that tomorrow he has to go have a blood transfusion. Thank goodness for medical breakthroughs over the last 100 years that makes this now trivial procedure actually life saving.

And this chokes me up. Even though all this time I've been chatting away about cancer and chemotherapy, actually what is happening right now is my little nephew is really fighting to stay alive.How can one little feeding tube bring this home? His cental line is apparent as we can feel it and are careful of it when holding him, yet he has been so sweet and smiley and happy and just so content. I am really scared for him and don't mind telling you that as I type this in the dark, I can't see the screen for tears.  I have to be strong for my sister and her family. I am also having a wee weep for my little lost baby too. Sometimes life is just really REALLY shitty.

Friday 10 June 2011

"Please insert witty title here"

Been awake since 4am. Look like a old hag this morning - think Zelda off that kids programme  - I can't think of it's name  hang on ...Terrahawks ( thanks Google)
Think I'm gonna need a LOT of my No.7Intense Beauty Serum...

Harry is in Manchester. He had to go and have a feeding tube put in because he is losing weight and when you are only 13lbs to start with it's not good. Lisa had tried to no avail to get him to drink it down but it was becoming too traumatic for the both of them. At least this way he doesn't have the stress of having stuff forced into his mouth. But the photograph she sent made me cry...for the first time reality kicked the door down and he looked sooooo little and frail and poorly.

How is it that we have become kind of desensitised to phrases like, oh he's having his chemo, like saying Oh he's having his fish n chips for tea? It is necessary and we know why it's having to happening, but at five months old your day should be concerned with stuffing things in your mouth and rolling over on to your front then wining cause you can't roll back - and yes the wee man is doing all these things but he is tooo little and when you think of what his little body is going to and that bastarding cancer is doing to him it makes me very angry and upset.

**** Pause to wipe tears and blow snotty nose********


Yesterday I had a chair thrown at me, though the child said (of course) he didn't throw it at me - I just happened to be in the way I know , he knows and the Head knows, that's not true.

My five Y6 lads have mainly been great, well my core four really. The fifth never turned up on Monday and was late on Tues and Wed and just rubs them all up the wrong way.

One of the four was in a right old grump and they were niggling at each other all day - the bruha blew up over a piece of paper FFS I asked number 5 to leave to calm down, number 4 couldn't leave it alone and pulled smug faces at number 5 still argueing, I raised my voice and asked number 5 to leave again and as he went he hurled a chair ....towards me, and thankfully for him and me it collided with a desk in the way and didn't actually hit me....I didn't see him after that.

No doubt he will be back in school today and will apologise and you know what I want to cry for this boy because it's not his fault he is like he is. It's the one with the 14yr old sister who is a mum already and the brother who's been in PRU since the age of 6. It's his skanky, scrotey, foul, waste of space, thick as pig shit, lazy benefits scrounger mother and her drug addled lifestyle with "uncle after uncle" GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR makes me mad and so sad for him, because he is a clever lad but I know he will end up inside. I know it. So today, I am going to be extra nice and understanding to him. I have 5 weeks left to try to help - yet I know already I am up against a brick wall...and you know what, this boy turns up day after day after day without fail because its the one place where he has routine and feels safe, o and gets fed.

Awww something just happened to raise my mood - my 16 year old daughter ( 17 next week) just came in and asked me to plait her hair for school! Even though I had to ask her to sit down so I could reach. Did I tell you I raised a couple of giants? Also the boy brought home a letter with the fabulous news he got all his first choices for his GCSEs.

Today at school we are going to take photos of the Fab Five and their great work and then we are going to make Tiffin which I will let them eat whilst the watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I am quite sad that the rest of the little shits will be back at one o'clock, apparently they have been challenging!!

Suppose I should go to the shop and buy the butter and syrup I forgot to get last night when I was in Asda. I was too busy buying vegetables in the whoopsed fridge. Bags of ready prepared vegetable soup mix for 10p. Yes TEN PENCE!!! I splashed out and bought four, two went in the freezer and two went in the slow cooker with two stock cubes and the smell is divine this morning!!! I will blitz it later. I also bought Spanish paprika potato wedges, cucumber portions and huge bags of roast Mediterranean veg.

Hopefully Lisa will beable to bring Harry home and will start to put weight on pretty quickly, if he takes after his Auntie Rachel it'll be a breeze!

Thank You for listening!!! xx

Wednesday 8 June 2011

Have you lot ever Tweeted?

I have just started to get into's a lot faster than facebook and somewhat more anonymous and following famous celebs of your choice is GENIUS and satisfies some deep down nosiness that I have. Bob Mortimer is HILARIOUS and strangely compelling is Richard Madeley!!

( Did actually say that out loud?)

The lack of photographs lately is due the fact I havn't figured out how to load em onto computer from fancypants iphone - but I have been snapping away...mainly at the little birdies who are eating me out of Nifer Seed and home! I know there voice and when I hear them peeping I get 3-4 minutes of gorgeous nature at work - these little goldfinches are STUNNING!

No work related angst...we have only been back 2 days ( angst ridden enough over that) and the majority of my y6 class are on a residential visit leaving behind me a wee group of six boys ( alll taller than me) .

We have gardened, planted trees, designed swimming pools and great structures to improve the school grounds, painted rocks and today they will assist the PE coaches all afternoon and this morning we have a rake of raspberries, blackberries and blackcurrants to put in. Friday morning I said we will make some tiffin and Thursday will be tasks of their choice. It's not their fault that they didn't go poor lambs, one genuinely didn't go, the parents of the others deemed it too expensive - which to be fair almost £300 for 4 and a half days it is....but EVERY SINGLE parent is a smoker, they have a car and these kids have every single bit of electronic stuff. O I tell a lie - one boty who was due to go was so badly behaved he was withdrawn from the trip. My heart soared when he wasn't in on Monday then sank as he was in yesterday - not with me for long, he was sent to the head after swearing in front of Y3 ( who I am babysitting too as the Y3 teacher has gone too) and sticking pens up his nose and snorting them out. This boy is lost. No amount of work we put in will change him now. He is as vile as his skanky parents who do not give a toss about him. His younger brother was sent to a secure unit school and his 14 year old sister gave birth to a baby boy.   Social Services didn't want to know when I claied he was being neglected...his toe and fingernails were like curled over talons and filthy. ( My nanna would say you could grow potatoes in em) he smells and is always hungry. His mother claims she can't get him in the bath....truth is he is online on an x box till 2am - we know because another problem child in Y5 tells us how they play zombies, Call of Duty and other such 18 rated games...but my thoughts on this will do another day.

My kids went to this place and had the week of their lives, the skills for life, comradeship it builds and a taster of independance is priceless. The school does operate a saving scheme and some of the children were eligable for hefty discounts due to a disadvantage fund - whereby here is my problem....why wasn't the disadvantage fund used to knock down the price for everyone - I also suggested some fund raisers to again knock down the price - but because it wasn't the person in charges idea it got no where.

Anyhow, I didn't think I had enough to fill a blog post today and look at how much I've waffled on!!!

My birthday draws ever close and then I will have to change my name!!!!

Friday 3 June 2011

When a comment turns into a blog post # lazyness supreme but I did it anyway :)

On my daily readng list is BRILLIANT BLOG

My beloved dishwasher is broken -

I know exactly what's wrong with it - I went to the library and took out the Dishwasher Manual book -

the heating element is bust...but I don't know how to get into the machine, and I can't get an engineer for love nor money ( because I know what is wrong, how much the parts are etc....)

so I await Finish's scientists to develop a cold water tablet as it goes through it's cycle perfectly well.

I am worried that my children are missing their most favourute tasks of emptying the dishwasher, I also miss the friction cause by Mr Radiostar stacking the dishes in TOTALLY wrong & his wee niggles at me for stacking it MY way!!!

When I bought it I spent as much as I could afford to go for an A rating on the energy scale and it was a water eco if anyone knows someone who can get into my Hotpoint safely for about twenty quid ( about 10 mins work) I'll be grateful!

I HEART my dishwasher I HATE standing at the sink! My children seem to hate putting the pots away more than the dishwasher!! Fortunately they still have the recycling to ruin their lives and yes kids " You DO have to do it, I think you'll find it's ME who does ev -er - reeee - thingggg" * Rolls eyes back atcha!!!

Wednesday 1 June 2011

Bloody love not going to work me...

Today I shall mostly be pottering, doing some good old fashioned bits and bots on nothingness just as I please. A visit FROM my sister and the angelics is planned, ( cue much snuggledom and cuteness)  a visit TO one of my oldest chums is planned ( cue much gossip tittletattle and cattery - all harmless of course) a hot steamy date with

my new iron. O yes it's purple. A bonus. Comes with it's own cover. 2.0mgs of steam pressure thingy whatever that is.
I night try it out today.
Knitting. Dear Daughters back is finished and the front rib. A new project. I also wanna try my hand at a bit of felting. so I have some old wool that I will knit into a bag and into the washing machine it will go with some dishwasher soap and some tennish balls..but I mustn't let it spin! Apparently.

Peas and cabbages need attending to as to my rhubarbs, which have protested at being moved by simply ..dying...I need to investigate what can be done...any helpers? I know what I did - I took them out of the ground ( Mainly because I was SICK AND EFFIN TIRED OF FRIGGIN CATSHIT from my neighbours cats in the beds GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR) O yes indeedy, a sore point. I HATE cats because of this. I HATE my neighbours too for having them. SO teh Rhubarbs were moved into giant roomy pots, but I don't think they like heights or something, we've had one pie outta them and then they just collapsed and died.

O I fancy a batch of viennese biscuits too.
So in order to get (non) busy I need to get off my arse and DO it!!

Loving everyone's Blogs lately! Puts me to shame with mine!
Byeeee xx