Thursday 26 May 2011

Even Shorter, nearer forty

Yes, that is how I've been described not once now, but twice! So thank you dear sister for coining me a catchphrase, that, had I written it, would be awesome! It's very funny and TRUE!!!

Yesterday, the vilest child in the class, during circle time, the one who told me to eff off the day before, reported that his worst part about being in Y6 was having lessons with me.

To their credit, the rest of Y6 gasped in horror and disbelief that he'd said it. There was that silence where you hear a pin drop and a few nervous giggles who I will admit probably aren'y my number one fans either! I just moved straight onto the next child and didn't even acknowledge it!!!!

( Inside I was half laughing thinking "Well done you little git!!"  Half of me was fuming - not that he didn't like me - for that I am not arsed - I am there to help them get an education, not to be Miss Popular { whereas we have had staff in school who have strived to be the children's favourite, but have been a totally shite educator}but fuming for all the hours I have spent helping him and working with him when I could have given that time to another.) Of course, I know full well this is the nature of the game and yes, I will turn up again day after day to do it all again!

O dear blogchums, you would have been so proud of the way I held it together and didn't blurt out that the feeling was mutual, that he was a hateful, hideous, little sneaky snake, a compulsive liar that no one in the class liked.

This is all true. He has not one likeable redeeming feature. He is constantly smarming around, listening in to adults, sneaking round the teacher's desk and snitching on anyone about anything. His parents have bred this creature and I do blame them.

After the last time he had thumped someone so hard it bust their nose and told the lunchtime staff to eff off, his mother swarmed into school, he ...ran.... this 10 stone ten year old..ran weeping into his mother's arms where she  gathered him in like some grotesque mother hen, declared he wasn't coming back to this effing school ever. It's the shittest school and she will not have her son spoken to like he was a piece of effin shit to the head and anyone one else who was around.
Yes, she has that foghorn voice. She too is hateful.
This was all done in front of Vile Child, who was peeping out with a SMUG grin. He was swept away and we all did a silent cheer.( Actually , within the safe confines off the staffroom we did had a MASSIVE laugh.
Of course, because the school is so shit she sent him back the next day, no apology, no kiss my arse no nothing.

So now, he does whatever he likes knowing full well there are no real sanctions. (Please don't ask why he hasn't been excluded because those of you in Education will know it really isn't that easy and in the end it reflects badly on the school. I on the other hand would have no qualms about putting my foot up his arse and booting the little blighter as hard as I could as far as I could!  )

40 more work days till he leaves. I've been doing the thing he hates the most which is completely ignoring him!!!!! He always asks can he do this and that in a bid to be helpful, well NO VILECHILD you cannot, my patience has run out with you my lad!!!

I had a great day yesterday actually, I was in my element, I taught the class about the Human Circulatory System. I even found a rap song online about it which they LOVED. This followed on from The Water Cycle song I found too. It's the future. Everything I will do will be a song form! They liked it! They are good kids really ( except VC) and I will miss them. They are full of character and mainly they are comedy geniuses - they just don't realise it!

O well, off I go to see what today brings! It's my Year 1 day today - I LOVE them.


  1. Well held together oh 'short n nearly forty' one, personally I'd have whipped out the higher voltage cattle prod and educated the little bugger (and his mother) on the finer art of manners - guess that's why I work in a factory then....bugger...

  2. lol, i too smirked as I wrote it and each time I see it ha ha. Hope the big boys at the big school VC goes too will give hime the kicking for you lol


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