A LEVEL RESULTS DAY

I have been waiting for this day like a child ( and myself ) waits for Christmas Eve. The tension has been unbearable. I have crippled myself with the 'what iffing'.

Everyone has said she'll be fine, not to worry. I've had an incessant, deep down, gnawing negative feeling twisting and churning in my stomach.

At 5am this morning I woke, after yet another night of nightmares, whereby I play out all sorts of situations.

At 7am, she asks me, where is my leaving school certificate? - I need it to collect my results. This sodding certificate has been on the table for weeks. She's been asked to move it. More than twenty times! So I now write this post in my bedroom, which looks like a bomb has gone off it in. I have ransacked EVERYWHERE. Incredibly I find it, in a pile of her stuff that she brought upstairs and for some reason PUT IN MY ROOM?? I shouted at her that I didn't need this stress. She shouted back neither did she. I bit my tongue. No, she didn't. Poor lamb.

At 7.15am she sets off for school.

At 8am - I get a text. it simply says B C C
At 8am - I text back WELL DONE XXX
At 8.01am I text back well, how many points is it??? I think why don't I look it up myself?

At 8.02am - she texts to say she thinks she's only got enough for her second choice.

At 8.03 am she rings. I answer, She is crying. I start crying. " MUM I GOT IN I GOT IN I GOT IN"

She got in to her first choice of Uni. She knows, she's checked on the  online tracker thingy. Her phone signal goes.

I ring her Dad who is at work.  He's so pleased. I text her to ask a million questions. She replies - stop texting you are blocking my phone!!!

About twenty minutes ago, she landed home, I hugged her - then demanded her log in details so I could see for myself! The UCAS page takes FOREVER to load.



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The Current Status of your application is

Congratulations! Your place at X University to study History has been confirmed.
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HOORAY!! I feel like cartwheeling round the room. Then I remember that
a) I am fat and forty one
b) no sodding room due to piles of daughter stuff, pre uni romm clear out and now opened drawers and ransacked cupboards due to certificate searching, which, by the way was NOT required!
So, the hideous waiting is over. All the hard work she put in paid off. Yet, I am still crying!

In one month's time, my darling, precious, first born will leave home.

But I am so OVER THE MOON about it. What a fantastic achievement for her. She asked for pancakes for breakfast. I said she can have anything she wants!! I am so proud.

I do have a half written post - for tomorrow - but I needed to post this one today! So so chuffed to little bits!

Love Rachel.x