I hereby resign from the guild of the housewives and realise I no longer have any claim to the throne of the domestic goddess.
IN MY DEFENCE, your honour, we do have one of those giant American fridges which is plumbed in so never gets pulled out. The floor underneath does get swept from time to time. Clearly the last time to time was pre 2011!!!
So how come there was an episode of Ch4’s Time Team going on in my kitchen? The HG was reaching for something from the redesigned corner of the back kitchen, as he reached, a box of bits for the new radiator fell off and went down the side of the cupboard and fridge where there’s just the right amount of room to slide and hide my clothes airer. With much swearing, the airer was moved and the bits of radiator gubbins collected. Except one valve. Looked again, couldn’t see it.
It could only have gone under the fridge, or worse, round the corner at the back of the cupboardin the corner. This would have meant having to pull the cupboard out. ( or just going on screwfux and buying a new one - my thoughts!!! )
So armed with my broom handle, I lay down I the floor, stuck the broom handle under the fridge and started pulling forwards. I felt something. Surely the valve. It resisted. So I got to my knees to manoeuvre the broom handle towards me. It was soft and I looked in horror as a black dead body came forth covered in dust and an old receipt. I admit I screamed, recoiled in horror and possible did a little wee.
It was a sock! THAT IS WHERE ODD SOCKS GO TO DIE PEOPLE!! Thus solving that mystery of why you only get odd socks back out of the washer when you know full well you put complete pairs in there??
One more sweep revealed the tomato purée. The HG came to take over as his arms are longer than mine and he could get right to the back corner.
Hurrah! Valve found and floor under fridge slightly cleaner than it was before!!
Valve now on new radiator which is WHEREIT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE FIRST PLACE IF ONE OF US WOULD EVER FINISH A JOB. But of course, I didn’t say a word! I may have pursed my lips a bit, but not one word!
Will now make the effort with those floor wipey things wrapped round broom handle to sweep under there!! What’s that? Photo or it never happened? Ok then!!
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| The dead creature from beyond the fridge. |
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| So out of date! |
Right, Monday morning. Let’s see what today brings. Cannot believe we are halfway through January already!
Lots of love from
Rachel *ex domestic goddess* Radiostar xxx
So very glad you are posting again.
ReplyDeleteCan't say I've ever found a dead sock under the fridge but have found dead mouse!
I actually thought it was a dead r a t !!
DeleteSlow down oldgirl, 2011, that is onoy a baby. I am leaving my specs off so I can’t read or see oopses.😉
ReplyDeleteThanks buttercup!
DeleteI am sure this could happen to anyone so don't worry about it! Glad that it was just a sock though, I would have been scared to find that under my fridge. It is amazing how things can get hidden away isn't it.
ReplyDeleteI know! How on earth did I not notice a tube of tomatoe purée gone on the floor
Deletep.s. not sure if you know but I am sort of back blogging again.
ReplyDeleteI didn’t know Amy, but I’m very glad you are xxx
DeleteMy Domestic Goddess of a S I L in Oz has one of those fridges. It took her precisely 5 minutes after getting it installed to send my baby brother to the hardware shop for a sheet of metal to lay underneath it. 3 of the edges are bent up like a baking sheet and the flat side has a little handle. She slides it out at least twice weekly and keeps whatever change has rolled under there. In the first year she collected over 100 dollars. Now the hubs and sons have learned better.
ReplyDeleteI think I’ll stick to wipey sheets on a broom handle!!
DeleteI've just laughed my socks off - poor black sock. What a way to die, eh. And I suppose his loving partner is no longer around to console him.
ReplyDeleteJ x
It might be under the dishwasher!!!
DeleteOh gawd Rachel I am in hysterics here. Me poor ribs are just about broke.
ReplyDeleteAndy is rolling his eyes and muttering about me finally having flipped...lol.
Big hugs to you you gloriously funny girl-x-
Eeeep! I’m not responsible for breakage of ribs!!!
DeleteHahaha my 2014 spelt and your 2011 tomato puree....a match made in heaven! Teehee. You're braver than me, I always make husband check underneath things....finding something like that black dead body would give me the right heebeejeebees.
ReplyDeleteMe and my friend always are eating out of date dodgy stuff but 2011 is a step too far for me lol
DeleteI would have used the tomato purée. That stuff can outlive Armageddon. In stitches here with your dead sock. I went to Screwfix BY MYSELF last week whilst in the guise of plumber. I thought it was very brave of me as I was the only woman there 😆🤓 xx
ReplyDeleteIt was VERY brave of you CT! I shall send you the tomato purée if you like!!!
DeleteSuch an uplifting post, made me smile on such a gloomy day.
ReplyDeleteI’m glad I made you smile x
DeleteThat was a bright way to start Monday-what a chuckle I had. Behind our cooker must be the same as I have jettisoned various pieces of pasta, cutlery etc over the years. There was a dreadful smell in our shower one time so I bent a coathanger and put it down the drain. Soft, squishy, smelly rat came up. I shrieked and DD and DH came through at speed. Problem solved-girl with very long hair equals choked shower drain caused by massive hairball. I immediately bought a trappie thingie so more rats in the drain. Catriona
ReplyDeleteUgh those 'rats' in the drain are the worst!!!
DeleteHo, ho. I have only just read this post. I really laughed at the sock "creature". What is it with socks, I think they have a mind of their own. Thank you for your lovely reply to me on Google chat which I did answer but honestly wasn't completely sure of what I was doing. I don't "do" technology so I am not sure if it went to you but hey ho, I do appreciate your answer, thank you so much. Regards Sue H xx
ReplyDeleteHey Sue, I will have to go look see because I've not been alerted to a message! I'm not much Cop with technology either!! Xx if you click on the link to the side, you can read Harry's story by his mum x
DeleteHaha, a furry sock out of hibernation, bit early in the season for it to wake up but hope it finds its mate! Tom puree probably has more preservatives in it than tomatoes so if it looks and smells ok and hasn't gone brown ... it's only been 7 years, hehe.
ReplyDeleteI know right with the tomato purée, there are things older than that that get donated to the tombola at work!!!
DeleteHaha been there done that, you should have seen the mess under my fridge when I moved house, so embarrassing. :) x
ReplyDeleteI am NEVER moving!
Deleteso out of date! You've given me a good laugh today and I thank you for it. x
ReplyDeleteOh good! But honestly, you couldn't make it up!! X
DeleteYou need to donate that to one of those old style shops they set up in museums! The sock is bad but it could have been worse. My niece once dropped something that rolled under some sort of DIY homemade oven/cupboard thing we had in our first house (previous owners bright idea not ours) and when Mark raked it out the skeleton of a mouse came with it. Never mind wetting myself I nearly ..... well I'm sure I don't have to put it into words! xx
ReplyDeleteI think I would have died right there on the spot!
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