Saturday, 6 April 2013

Artisan my arse.

Artisan. Let's consider this word. It's a new word in recent times to be used for daylight robbery.

Duck Turpin is wearing a flour encrusted pinny these days. He's very clever. Take some flour. Add some yeast, a slosh of beer, salt, knead, prove, knock it back, shape, slash, glaze sprinkle on some oats/seeds/mouse droppings/etc bake, done. ( Rather Gordon Ramseyesque there I thought. )
Oh and then give it a swanky pants name
Ye olde fashionde brewerye loafe and you can charge anywhere from £3 -£5 for it.

Bake it and they will spend!

Well not me thank you very much. It is a RIP OFF! £2 a small bloomer they charge on the Farmer's Market. There's another
way of getting people to pay thrice the price for stuff.

The way stupid people are parted from their money amazes me.

Green grocers - carrots, 10p per kg

Farmers Market - field grown orange root vegetables, plucked from the earth £4 per kg

What sane person will pay a tenner for a jar of jam just because the label says someone's granny made it in her homely kitchen?? I'll tell you who, the same person who spent a months mortgage on the wholemeal oven baked loaf of cobblers for their toast.


Take yesterday for instance. I went into an Artisan bread shop. It stank. The overwhelming stench of brewers yeast was horrible. They were selling quarter loaves of sourdough bread for £2.50 each!
They had Jewish loaves ( that looked nothing like the authentic ones I've seen, oaty loaves, wheat loaves ( JHC ) wheat loaves -I ask you!! ,
They probably could have sold playdoh loaves and not one of their poncy customers will have noticed.

Nothing was under £2.50

I'd gone in with the intention of buying something. The family wanted something to eat, we'd been out longer than I thought and up in the Lakes sometimes you are limited. We'd stopped at a place to look at a cycle warehouse.

I bought a coconut jam slice and two pieces of flapjack. Have a guess how much. The winner will get nothing but the smug feeling of being right! Off you go. Guess away!

Not me. Not bloody likely.


  1. £6.20 prize? Not even a Cake Pop? Shame on you ;o) p.s. so when are we opening one of these arty farty bread and cake boutiques?

    1. Close - but not close enough Clare! Also prizes?? I am not made of money! I spent it all yesterday in an overpriced cook shop! The other? As soon as I get premises!!!

  2. We have the same fools in South Africa Rachel, "A fool and his money...." Don't get me started on stupid brand clothes just costing hundreds more because a stupid name is printed on it. We went to a restaurant that sold a plate of bloody potato skins as their speciality at double the price of a normal meal.

    1. I know! Here let's use the peelings and flog em to the fools. Now I've no qualms about using the peelings but not sodding paying for them!

  3. Replies
    1. But YOU said the cheapest thing was £2.50! Okay then £5.75! Pah! :o)

  4. Replies
    1. It is Artisan Bakery OOP NORTH! Tha's getting silly nah WI tha guesses!

  5. I've paid $6 for a sourdough.


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