Thursday 9 August 2012

Cancer - it's just not fair


Well, just a short post as I am supposed to be getting my overnight bag ready. Harry has been called back to The BRILLIANT Birmingham Children's Hospital  sooner than Lisa thought. We are hoping that it does not mean anything sinister.

To look at him on this photo - which is how he is all the time, Smiley and gorgeous. So sweet natured, happy, a little innocent angel - you would not think that  lurking, slinking, behind those big, beautiful baby blues is an evil, twisted, hideous disease called Bilateral Retinoblastoma slowly trying to take his sight, eyes and if it had it's way, his life. The tumour on his left eye is dangerously close to his optic nerve.
Ooh hang on, can't type as tears in the way.

Right, have pulled myself together. I just love this little treasure Harrychops  so much and cannot bear the thought of him having to deal with this. Over and over.

But it's how it is. Lisa remains strong on the outside but I know she is glad I can come with her this time. It's a long three hours  on that M6, taking your little one  to somewhere, who,  now he is older, is beginning to realise where he is and no he doesn't like it, on your own. We try and find humour in any situation. It helps. Certainly when we get there, see all the other little heartbreakers, ( And bloody hell it is ONE emotional place and so humbling )  we thank our lucky stars that Harry IS being treated. The staff are great. Expertly, they guide these shellshocked parents gently through what has to happen. It is amazing how resilient children are. They are just happy playing. To  babies like Harry, cancer is normal.

Three weeks ago she was on her own as they delivered the devastating news that after two clear exams, this time the tumours had re grown in his right eye. This is his 'good' eye. The one which he has limited sight in. They look for these seedlings as they call them and laser blast them into oblivion. Only trouble is, these blasts are bitter sweet. Sweet because they destroy the filthy cancer, bitter because they also leave scarring which means another tiny bit of sight is permanently gone.  I am glad they are on the ball, I am wondering if they think Harry, who will be going through a big growth spurt again, will be susceptible to rapid tumour growth. Let's hope I am wrong.

So let's all cross our fingers, salute any single magpies, send up prayers, healing thoughts Harry's way. he does need every bit of positive energy he can get.  Use our adopted motto.

While I breathe, I hope.

Welcome to any new readers, if you'd like to find out more about my nephew Harry, I  have a few posts on him since April 2011 when he was diagnosed at just 13 weeks old, Or you can pop by Lisa's ( my sister )  blog and have a read there. She appreciates any support.

Love Rachel xx


  1. I follow Harry's journey closely and was gutted after his last hospital visit. I can't even start to imagine what Lisa goes through. I have everything crossed for this visit and am sending loads of love and positive vibes to Harry, Lisa and the rest of the family. Xxxxx

  2. I have been saluting every single magpie I see. All in Harry's honor.

    I wish for manageable news for Harry this week. I hope that they just knew next week would be extra busy & wanted Lisa to bring him 'round early.

    Or maybe they've fallen in love with him as we have & can't go that extra week without their Harry fix! <3

    Keep us updated.

  3. Shouldn't have read this at work =[

    Big hugs.. Hope it is good news this time xoxo

  4. oh my! oh my! this tugs at ones heart strings.......what a happy little chap and all I can say is I sincerely hope all the best things happen to this little cherub......sending lots of really strong vibes to Harry and his family from over the channel....please God it may not be what you are fearing! X capital letter kiss for Harry.

    Amanda :-)

  5. God, that sucks!
    I'll remember Handsome Harry in my prayers.
    Jane x

  6. I know you on twitter, didn't realize you had a blog. (I am SO smart like that.) I trust this trip goes well. So glad you can be there for your sister.

  7. I know you on twitter, but did not realize you had a blog. (Just not the sharpest tool in the shed.) I hope this trip goes well. So glad you can go with your sister. Those drives with a sick baby are so very tough. Hugs to all.

  8. I know you on twitter, didn't realize you had a blog. (I am SO smart like that.) I trust this trip goes well. So glad you can be there for your sister.

  9. My eldest is also a Harry and this is heart breaking. It brings home to me how lucky I am. Go little Harry!! and all my heartfelt wishes to mum x

  10. Rachel I know your sister does not know me but please give her a big hug from me. My youngest has been sick for two years and it took so long to find out what was wrong. She is being treated and will be fine. It is not terminal nor dangerous (unless untreated) but it was a big strain and I cannot imagine how hard little Harry's cancer must be on your family.

  11. Very emotional! He is such a beautiful boy! Fingers toes arms and legs all crossed for him and every other superstition followed too! Dum spiro spero xx

  12. Thank you all, what made it hard last time was Harry's right eye had been clear for 6m so it was a real shock. Harry loves his hanty raychel and I love the visits when she comes, we always find something to laugh at and tho cancer is no way funny it certainly makes the trip pass by much better. Love from Lisa and Harry xx

  13. So many thoughts and prayers going out to him. xo

  14. Everything crossed for Harry. I'm surewith his Mummy and Aunty there for him he'll find something to laugh about whatever happens.

  15. Lots of happy thoughts winging their way to little Harry and everyone who loves him.

  16. A beautiful boy surrounded by love. Best wishes. x

  17. What a handsome child! We'll hold him in our thoughts here at HomePlace.Keep hope in your hearts!

  18. Replies
    1. Hi Vivian,
      Sorry for the delay. He continues to keep going through his milestones and he can now say my name! He has a had a couple of clear visits now so fingers crossed it stays like this xx

  19. Yep that's rubbish! Sending my love to your beautiful Harry.
    We're also struggling with cancer, my 29yr old daughter has neuroblastoma normally found in 3-5 yr olds and she's struggled through chemo and radiation so far this year and is now "waiting" to see what the specialists plan to do next. So sad.
    Love from Sue

  20. Hi Sue,
    Thanks for visiting my blog. I am so sad to hear the awful timesyour family is going through. Cancer makes no sense at all. I hope you get some news soon. Our family have adopted the motto Dum Spiro Dum Spero. While I breathe I hope. Its amazing how much support you can get from 'strangers' online. I wish you love and healing xxx
    Rachel x


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