Sunday 19 May 2019

2019 SATs

Well, every year at this time, on the blog somewhere will be something from me talking about how sould destroying it is having to sit and read Maths questions to children who should not even be doing these stupid tests let along Janet and Roger Middle of the roadsters.

Anyway they are also good for a chuckle. No childers were harmed in this story and my little charge was very happy with how they'd done on the day.  I'm having to paraphrase so you get the jist as I can't recall the exact words.  There was a picture of kittens...something like this.
image nicked from google

There was a statement that said. 
Here are a group of kittens, all with different masses 
 recorded here.
(Under each sillouhette was a weight eg 250g 375g etc in a random order.)

The first part of the question asked what is the difference between the kitten with the largest mass and the kitten with the smallest mass ( sic )

My cherub whispered to me, " I don't know what masses are, I don't know what it means."
I say, I can't tell you what it means, shall I read it again to you? An eager nod. The reality is I could read it forwards, backwards, in Spanish and in Latin and it would not have made it click. If I have cheated and said, it means how heavy they are, look, can you see the weights underneath? They are the masses. The poor sould would still not have understood. Anyway we went on. I re read the question stressing the words 'difference, largest and smallest - this is totally allowed under the readers for sats guidelines.

ahhhh said my charge. And correctly circled the kitten showing the smallest mass. In my head I'm thinking, bloody hell, they might just get this one. ) then circled another kitten with a bigger mass but not the largest mass ( which was 410g by the way )
So then we spend some time looking at what we have circled. I read the question again. The child looks at me and whispers - pointing at the first one they circled -

 Easy, this one has a shorter tail.

Bless!!! I then whispered back, I don't think there is enough room in the box to write all that, it's Maths, maybe they need a number. 

"Oh ok," they say nonchalently, and just write the number 10 in the box without a moment's thought! 

Anyway, its been a full on busy day. I've walked 2 miles to training, had the weekly dose of humiliation of how crap are you with your dog, then 2 miles home. Madam was too tired to eat her tea. I wasn't! It was a pork loin chop, chips and peas kinda tea here today. I'm on a course tomorrow all about the effects of ACEs on children's brains. It really is quite devastating statistics. ACEs is a bit of a buzzword really, nowt new as they've always been here, just that along with poor mental health, people are talking about them. They stand for Adverse Childhood Experiences. I will write more on these next time as my eyes are closing. 

Lots of love from 
Rachel * NOT Barbara Woodhouse* Radiostar xxx


  1. We have a similar thing here called NAPLAN - National Assessment Program - Literacy and Numeracy. Causes havoc every year - for students and staff.
    Teachers/schools are accused of 'teaching to the test and not the corriculum' - schools are assessed by results - some private schools 'choose' their students by merit - which means they get a higher ranking than local state schools. Lots of 'anger' over the program
    Let's just say my children did well without it and all my grandchildren were 'brainy enough' not to be bothered by it.
    It does however remind of the time growing up in England when I took my 11+ (1953) and still remember how petrified I was all those many years ago.
    Take care

  2. It's so sad how they try and herd children into boxes, your time would have been better spent teaching them the difference.

  3. Don't get me started on SATs. When L took his, the result came back 'below average for an 11 year old" AH, said I to his headmistress, that'll be because he's only 10. Pointless. Waste. Of. Time. Is anyone in favour of them? Parents, teachers and children aren't. xx

  4. That's SATs for you, isn't it. For some children, they are an utter farce and for the others, what's the point. The teachers know anyway.
    I never was pro-SATs and am even less so as I get older.

  5. Aww bless. SATS should be filmed, the children would be funny, I suspect the stressed staff even funnier ;) I make it my mission to tell every parent and child I can not to worry about them. This comes from first hand experience of Amy's school holding so many booster sessions in Y6 I think I missed part of her childhood. Then she gets to high school where they re-test them anyway! They are nothing but a league table for schools in my opinion and would be Number 1 on my ACE list lol. xx


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