Sunday, 18 September 2016


This is what I have been this week. TOO HOT. But 'twot' is how it sounds when I'm whinging and whining about it. The HG MENTIONED IT COULD BE. MY. AGE. HOW VERY DARE HE.

it was 26C at 6pm on Wednesday night. 17C at 2am, 3am and 4am when I woke up twot and sweaty. I had cramp in my calf which caused me to Yelp out loud. The HG jumped up demanding to know what was wrong. I couldn't speak through the agony! I never have cramp. I'm putting it down to a lack of salt in my body because I've been sweating so much. It soon passed. It's been so unnaturally hot and humid it's frying my brain! I've cut everything down in the garden, but it's grown like mad again. Last week I mowed the meadow. 15 empties of the lawn mower it took. 

Guided reading with Y2. There are six  groups. The teacher took one group out. Three groups had independant (HA Ha Ha Har Har ) reading activities to be doing silently while I had another group in the classroom. The group that is rapidly becoming 'my' group. Why??? I don't want them!! Y2 children cannot do silent. And

I clearly have been working with celebrity lifestyle offspring. During the guided reading session this week my little charges and I were looking at the weighty tome "A big mess!"
We looked at the front cover to see if we could have a go at deciding what it was about. 

Firstly there ensued a massive argument heightened debate over what the red stuff was. 
Child A it's chilli
Child B it's meatballs
Child A ( a bit louder ) it's chilli 
Child  B ( a bit louder than child A ) it's meatballs
Me to child C - what do you think it is? 
Child C ( who is best friends with Child A ) I think it's chilli too

Child B - slams book on table
Me ( wondering how to apply for a job at Marks and Spencer's ) I think it's the blood spill from a guided reading group massacre. 
Not really!!!

Pause from me to remind the rest of the class that the teacher told them to work in silence and not talk. 
Anyway, we turn to page one and all is revealed. Picture the scene. 
Mum ( naturally ) is stood at the sink, berubber gloved, up to her eyeballs in washing up. Dad is holding a large two handed saucepan with red stuff spilling out. Floppy the dog, with red stuff over his paws, has clearly barged into Dad, causing the spillage, is running out of the kitchen after a cat. Biff, the daughter, is looking angst ridden through the doorway. 

Ahaaa it is chilli delights Child A.
Child C and D together - no it isn't, it's JAM! 
They are correct. There are numerous jars of jam on the side. 
Child A quietly accepts this
Child B asks is it OK if I just say it's meatballs?
Me - no, because it's jam. 
Child B actually huffs at me because of this and argues well I'm going to say it's meatballs. I let my inner 6 year old out and say well you are wrong it's jam. I've turned into child A! 

Pause to quiet the class down again as I realise I'm actually bellowing the words 'IT IS JAM!' at a small child just because I cannot hear my own voice! 

So we settle down to sounding out some words and reading the texts. We use funny voices, we point to the words. We say things like 
Mmmm eh esssssssss then blend it together MESS! 
Me ( wondering what I wanted to escape from Y6 for ) ok let's predict what happens next
Child A confidently shouts they are going to tidy up the mess. Child A is confident because despite being told 150 times by me, has been turning over the page for a look. Childs B, C and D all get a Teacher Award from me because they are doing the right thing and are not turning the page, then they all get an extra award for predicting a likely scenario. Child A sulks. 

Let me tell you people, at this point, Child A is getting RIGHT on my tits. 

Pause again to quieten the table next to us. Clearly the other two tables sensed the danger in my tone last time and were quietly on task. 

Child A has also been reminded umpteen times to sit still, stay in their own space, turn around etc etc. Child A is a totally different kettle of fish to Childs ( I like using this incorrect form of the plural ok? ) B, c and D 
Child B has diagnosed learning difficulties requiring a lot of 1-2-1 attention
Child C has had a terrible start in life, rescued from a dreadful home if you could call it that and is quiet and lacks confidence but has missed huge gaps in a typical upbringing meaning learning is tricky requires 1-2-1 attention
Child D is outstandingly eager to learn but is so clearly dyslexic, that reading is tricky. No diagnosis because the parents cannot fathom this out. Could do with 1-2-1 etc 

Child A is just a hideously spoilt brat. Absolutely ruined by their doting parents and grandparents to the point of ridiculousness. No boundaries have ever been put in place. Child A has never been told No. Child A has no resilience because of this. They've had no broken/repair moments that normal parenting brings about to develop a lovely sweet natured, accepting child. 

There's a proper word to describe this and I cannot just bring it to mind, I want to say reciprocity, but I think that's wrong. 

By this I mean, in its simplest form, imagine a babe in arms, you are gazing into each other's eyes, you look away, the relationship is temporarily broken, the babe could start to panic, you look back, repairing the relationship. Babe is settled. Learns that if you go away, you will come back, all is well. 

It's how you set boundaries. Children learn that if told no, they might not like it, but they will get over it and times won't be bad forever. 

Barry Hymer talked about this -in our Fixed and Growth mindset train g. 

Praise should be given to the effort of learning and not just to the learner. Grrrr is really bugging me what he called it, so much so, when I get to work on Monday I will post in the comments what I'm on about!! 

Anyway, I think we all probably know a child A type. 

If child A doesn't want to, at home, Child A doesn't have to. Child A is the centre of attention at home but is completely hateful. We do not adore Child A like child A is used to. This has caused issues from day 1 in school. The parents do not back up the teachers in front of Child A, which makes discipline pointless. How can any child accept responsibility for their actions if their parents come in and actually insist that the adults in school must be liars because their child is perfect???
When in a good mood, child A is charming. When challenged over behaviour ... An example from earlier this week 

Child A - In what I would call a wheedling voice, Miss, Child D has just been saying really really mean things to me.
Me - oh really? Child D, did you just say mean things to Child A? 
Child D - yes because Child A was just strangling me
Child A - clearly not wanting me to be privy to this bit of information, stands up, sticks fingers in ears, shouts, I hate teachers, blah blah I'm not listening over and over at me! 
I've not even said anything at this point. I'm tending to go with Child D's version of events. 
I say sternly,

Child A did you strangle Child D? Child A blows a raspberry at me, folds their arms, turns their back on me and sticks their bottom out to me!! 
Me - well, I'm not surprised Child D said mean things to you, I would too if you'd strangled me! You are now on Amber because of the way you have tried to get Child D into trouble and because of your rudeness to me.  Child A turns round to shout 'You're stupid' at me! 

The class teacher returns and whisks Child A out of the classroom to cool down! Order is restored. The rest of the class had been enjoying fruit and milk and reading books - child A clearly had had enough of this activity! 
I wish she'd whisked me out of the classroom. 

He did come and apologise later on, very eloquently. Child A has an amazing vocabulary and rapport with adults, because they've only ever had adult attention and conversation. Deemed far too precious for nursery, school was a huge shock to their little over inflated ego and at the start of their third year of school, whilst being nowhere near as awful as Reception, is still the stand out kid that you notice first in a room. And there is nothing academically wrong or noticeable. Just pampered laziness. In my opinion. 

Anyway I've digressed so far from my original story I'll have to go back to see where I was up to! 

Ah yes, a sulking Child A is actively ignored ( something they hate! ) and Childs B,C, and D get on with the task in hand. 
The scene.
Mum is standing with a mop, Dad is on his hands and knees with a rag cleaning up the rug and Floppy is licking the jam. 
So I'm saying to them, point to this word - mop- who can sound it out? 
No one can. 
Ok, I say, let's look at the pictures for clues. What is Mum using to clean up the mmmm eh sssssssss? 
Child D - no hesitation - champagne. 
Me ( kills self laughing inside ) 
Childs B and C - ohhhh my mum has one of those - (pointing to the mmmm oh ppp)
Me - what is is called? Look at the word
Childs B and C - we don't know
Child A it's a Vileda
Me - what sound does Vileda begin with? V Vileda Vuh Vuh Vuh Vileda  look at the word, it's starts with a mmmm sound,  mmmm
Child A goes back to sulk mode ( see above - can't take being told no, even though I didn't use the word no ) 
Me - so you have one of these at home for cleaning the floor, what is it called? 
Nobody knows. I've lost the will to live. I'm flabbergasted. 

Child F at the next table has spilt water everywhere. Child G is playing in the table puddle.Child H is upset because their picture is wet. Child I is picking it's nose. 

Pause to sort the next Tabl out and sit Child F- the water spiller- at the table at the front, on their own. 

I return to chaos at my own table. Child A and B are arguing again over a rubber that neither of them should be fussing over. Childs C and D are awarded a teacher award for sitting waiting patiently and for doing the right thing. The rubber is removed from Child A and both A and B are asked 
Are you sitting still? No
Are you tryin g your best? No
Are you ready to learn? No 
Well, on our behaviour wheels , on green it says "I am on green because I am listening well, I am trying my best and I am ready to learn. 
Well then, unless you fix this RIGHT NOW, B, your peg will be moved to Amber and A you at will be moved down to red. 

DO              YOU            UNDERSTAND.               ME? Yes. 

A at that moment the smiley relaxed teacher came back from her lovely calm quiet reading area with her lovely sweet well behaved independant readers.....time to tidy up!!!! 

This book is 5 pages long. We did not finish it this session. It was the first session of the year. They just need re training. My feedback to the class teacher

Next week YOU have my group in here and I will take the top table out into the cosy quiet reading area! 
The teacher did say she heard the noise  and me telling them to be quiet!
I also suggested
Child C and D need to be in a separate group and Child A needs to go to another school far far away from me! 

Anyway I've rambled on for far too long. My next post will be something linking in with another blog! Ooooo the mystery! 

It's another glorious day. I may go out into the garden later if I can dodge the Jurassic Park sized spiders - they are so big. One had a wasp in its web, another had a giant bluebottle and the humongous one near the bins had a sparrow trapped! ( ok one of these might not be entirely true) 

Lots of love from 
Rachel *TWOT* Radiostar xxx 


  1. Child D with his champagne to clean up the mmmm eh ssss clearly has the celebrity lifestyle!

  2. Ha Ha. It took me so long to read that my internet crashed again. I need a cup of tea after absorbing all that information. As I always say Rachel, you should be sainted for what you deal with.
    Have a lovely day in the garden and avoid the spiders. However, I'm looking forward to some wet weather as I'm desperate for you to tell us how your Lakeland heated drier works. X

    1. I've tried it once! Oh Jules, I too am longing for wet weather so I can use it again! It dried them completely over night, a full load of towels, for 6p! And with the cover over it, zero condensation, AND it warmed the kitchen up a treat!!

  3. Oh, that takes me back a bit over a year! Reading Revelry, we call it, three times a week. I loved it as we had parents in to help with the other groups and it worked really well but . . . well, let's just say one learns a lot about the children's out of school life!
    J x

    1. One does indeed and one also us reminded of how some of them really are lacking by the time they get to KS2!

  4. Reading this made me laugh so much x sometimes I despair at listening to my 9 and 11 yr old reading but even they aren't as "entertaining" as your pupils. I'm surprised child A hasn't got a maid to clear up the mmm eh sss with champagne!

    1. I suspect Child A's mother is his maid! His skivvy. Oh the messages she is setting ......

  5. Oh my do you stand it. I would be banging on the door of the nearest asylum begging to be sectioned I think. You deserve a medal.
    Laughing very loudly at your huge spider with a sparrow in it's web. You are so funny-x-

    1. Sheila, it's happening in classrooms up and down the country - it has to be! There's not just my class like this?!!

  6. You have NO idea how much I enjoyed this post!!! Gawd you're funny. Parents like those of Child A will only realize how few favours they have done their children by coddling them when they are 29 years old and still at home because they don't know how too handle life's ups and downs. Trust me, there are kids everywhere who have never been told no (or no is changed to yes after enough pouting and whining). -Jenn

  7. I think that's why I loved being a cub leader ( 8-11) but hated running a Beaver colony (6-8) . Apart from the spoilt brat bit I would be child A turning the pages to see what happens next, got told off for that in a "reading round the class" Thing aged 11..............still do it now!
    How many weeks to half term?
    You will survive.......probably!

    1. LOL me too Sue but I think I would have hidden it better than child A!

  8. "Child D is outstandingly eager to learn but is so clearly dyslexic, that reading is tricky. No diagnosis because the parents cannot fathom this out. Could do with 1-2-1 etc" please please get the help this child needs. The earlier dyslexia is recognized and addressed, the better. My heart goes out to this child if you simply ignore.

    1. Please don't worry Sandy, people at school are fully aware and steps are in place. No child is ever ignored.

  9. Oh Rachel, you reminded me why I love retirement so much! We were a pilot school in the late eighties for ORT and It was so real to some of the children that one harassed Mum arrived one day at the door with cakes for Kipoer's birthday! Mind you, that Kipper's a little b*****r too. I used to tell parents frequently that saying NO did not make you a bad parent. You really made me laugh today but I know from very long experience how unbearable your job would be if you didn't see the funny side. Catriona ps and let's not even talk about kinaesthetic spellin shall we?!!!!

    1. I am laughing my head off at a mama turning up with a cake for Kipper's birthday!!!

  10. 'No' means 'no'. It's very simple but unfortunately many parents don't know that. Everyone at school then gets the fall-out. Keep smiling1

  11. I need to know more about Floppy and Biff, I know someone has read me one of thier books, but not about dads spilling jam, am I on green, please please miss.

    1. I will probably have more Floppy and Biff related tales coming your way soon! But yes, for now you are on green!!

  12. Made me laugh! Have a lovely Sunday ♥

  13. I did learning support (for a short time) in high school and I had a child A, in year 9. I think he must have slipped through the net and was a poor reader so aways played up in the English class and his friends thought he was so funny. Eventually the friends got wise and slowly moved away so then child A eventually started to do his work (with a different learning suport as I was no longer doing it) and did pass his GCSE English.
    With a bit of luck your child A won't turn out to be like my child A.
    Have another great week.

  14. Sadly I think that is a reflection of society today and the 'I want now' mentality - it starts when they are young...everyone gets what they want with no understanding of having to work for it - these lessons begin in childhood. 'Child Rights and Human Rights' have added to this as well as the fact that many parents are too scared to discipline their children nowadays as well. Discipline can take many forms and ALL animals discipline their young - we are getting it so wrong now as it is deemed that 'No' is no longer acceptable word to use, 'wait' is unheard of and as for respect that seems to be long gone as well. There is no such thing as failure, yet through our mistakes we learn, and yet because children can no longer 'fail' they have no goals as it seems anything is good enough so they stop trying. A little healthy competition is what life is all about. What on earth will the world be like with the current generation that is being raised in this manner I wonder?

    Year Two children should really be a pleasure to teach, they are like sponges and absorb things and are eager to learn, and yet more and more I am hearing stories like yours. It is so sad.

    Whoops, I seem to have gone on and on!

    Keep at it!

    1. Fortunately, Child A is still not the norm across school just yet, but I do know what you mean.

  15. Love this blog...hilarious 😀😀

  16. Good grief Rachel and I bet that was tops 30 minutes of your day! Why are you left in class with the group that probably needs to focus the most? If they're struggling already, any distraction isn't going to help is it. Teachers are crafty like that at times aren't they. We had one who never taught a certain group of challenging children at all. She sent them out of class all the time with her TA, poor woman.

    There are plenty of Child A's around these days unfortunately. We had one whose Mum would turn up at all hours of the day and ask if she could just pop into class to see if her little darling was OK! Erm, that would be a big fat no. But she wouldn't go until one of us in the office had checked ourselves. Stupid woman and stupid headteacher for letting her get away with doing that. The child is now in Y6 and I believe Mum turns up at 12 noon on the dot every day with packed lunch because she wants child to have it as fresh as possible. Give me strength. xx

    1. OH MY GIDDY AUNT NO WAAAYYYY!!!! That is hysterical!!!! We have helicopter parents who arrive at 2.30pm for the end of school pick up!!!!


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