Sunday 26 February 2012

I have something to say!

It came to my attention whilst watching the TV. It was an advert. Mostly I don't watch the adverts these days thanks to the beauty of Sky+. I normally view them at x30.

This suits me. I am rather susceptible to advertising. I am a marketing man's dream audience - but only so far - for I will ONLY ever try the new stuff if I find it on special offer! But I have studied advertising quite closely and I know all the art of persuasion.

My first 'Adrage' Award goes to the payday loans etc - but they will get a blog post all of their own. I am pushed for time. I have a German coming to stay on Wednesday and I havn't hoovered behind the beds yet.....

Here is the second Adrage Award - Tonight I could not believe my ears  during a very jolly, happy little ad for a pet store . It had happy smiley shop keepers on it. It had a cute little chap of a terrier on it. ( Complete with little cute pointy ears and cute beard type hair round it's cute little chops.)  Very suavely jolly voice over man told us all about  how 'Pets at Home catered for EVERYTHING pets and their owners could ever need.

Wait til you hear this.

They cater for ...
" wheat intolerant labradors"

They fucking what?????????
Bloody wheat intolerant labradors my arse. Last time I looked in my animal encyclopaedia - dogs came under the heading CARNIVORE.
Infact why don't  you google the word? ( go on ...I'll wait whilst you do)

well? did you find the word carnivore? I bet you a zillion quid and a bag of kitty kibble you did.

Has anyone done the scientific research? They don't need to. Labradors will be intolerant of wheat because THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT IT.  What an utter load of crap.

BUT it is genius. Here in the UK we are animal barmy, especially dogs. Stupid 'right on beans n lentils' people who impose their ridiculous diets on infants and pets will simply FLOCK to buy this stuff.

WAAAAIT A  COTTON PICKING MINUTE! ( facepalm moment ahoy)
O my lordy I have just twigged. What they are infact selling is probably just  cheap horse eyelids and cow's knees which are wheat and gluten free in fancy pants tins and packets at ten quid a pop. !!

Pets at Home - I salute you!
Ps Do you sell Vegetarian rabbit fodder and  meat free budgie seed?
I don't have any pets ( RIP  our little grey rabbit (much loved but she never once had a bacon sarnie ) )

Here - wanna try out the recipe?
"James Wellbeloved Adult Dog Food Pouches with Turkey and Rice is a delicious complete wet food or makes the perfect top up to your dog's normal dry food.

Made using only Turkey (Minimum 26%) as the main source of protein with easily digested rice and vegetables, James Wellbeloved Adult Dog Food Pouches have been formulated to be gentle on your dog's digestive system and reduce the risk of food intolerances and stomach upsets.

Enriched with Alfalfa, Seaweed and Linseed to aid digestion and soothe itchy coats, these delicious pouches are sure to satisfy your dog's hunger."  I did not write this - I have simply copied it for you own belief that this is out there!
In this country I think I am disgusted that we take better care of animals ( and prisoners actually ) than old people.
That is all.


  1. You're right. People care far too much for animals in this country. When I'm king, pets will be simply another valuable source of protein.

    I'm calling it the Rachel Bill - that way I won't get the blame when irrational pet-lovers queue up to complain.

  2. I have something to give... I've bestowed a blog award upon you. Come over and visit my blog to get it!

  3. Batsby - I think the irrational pet owners be culled not the ickle cute animals! I LIKE pets but they should be treated correctly!

  4. The Queen Bee - ooo I am so excited!!!!! Going right now!!!

  5. Hahaha! I concur. I have a Labradoodle - not sure if he is wheat intolerant or not. Goodness. I AM THE WORST DOG OWNER EVER. You know what weirds me out? Those Cesar commercials with the fancy dog food and the little tiny white dog eating the fancy food out of the glass bowl. YOU GIVE YOUR DOG A FUCKING CRYSTAL BOWL? I mean, really. I was in the pet store buying food and I heard this guy talking about his dog who was a picky eater and would only eat x type of dog food, etc., and I was like WTF? My dog will eat his own shit if you let him. THEY ARE DOGS.


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