Thursday, 10 March 2016

From hero to zero

Yesterday was the hero bit, today was the zero. 
Hero

I've been one of three TAs running our school's first set of Lego Therapy courses. We call it Lego Friends because therapy sounds so awful! 
It's an hour a session. It's very structured and it's a scheme to help children learn how to become more confident in social situations really. It's a really safe environment for them and it's just absolutely brilliant! Three children, three adults is how we have done it for KS1 and three children two adults for KS2. 
Well yesterday was the last session for both of our groups. The children expressed their sadness at the news! They've really loved coming. One KS2 person told me that it really was the best 8 weeks of their whole life, their happiest 8 weeks in any school ever. I was almost bawling! I told them that I was proud of them and that it'd been a privilege to have worked with them for 8 weeks! My fellow TAs were equally as moved and it reminds based me why I absolutely love doing what I do and that I DO make a difference! 

Quickly drag that needle across a record 

Zero

Today on playground duty
 Child approaches me in tears 
Said child finds playing with peers difficult, is a bully, is rough and the peers just avoid at all costs. Said child is also spoilt and dictates things at home. 


Child: waaaaaaaahhhhhh
Me: ( concerned ) what's the matter??
Child: I'm playing tig and they ( points aggressively towards another child in the same class ) always tigs me first. And it's not faaaaiiiirrrrr. 

 Please bear in mind that I've had this conversation with this child and the peers 28976543  times. Also bear in mind every. Single. Staff. Member. On. Duty. Ever. has had the same conversations. 
What happens is child X plays tig, gets tug and then won't acknowledge it and won't be on. The others get sick of this deliberate flouting of tig rules. I tell them if child X is not conforming, don't include them in the game, don't chase, don't tig, ignore. I tell child X to find someone else/another game to play. In fact tig has been banned a trillion times over! 

So this is how it panned out. 

Me: well, like I said yesterday and last week, if you don't like it, don't play it. 

Child : But they keep tigging me first. Everytime. 

Me: if you don't like it, don't play it

Child: but I want to play

Me: well just be on then. Accept you've been tug and move on

But it's not fair, they ( child Y ) always go for me

Me: right if Child Y is on, sit this game out then join back in at the start of a new game

Child: but I wanna plaaayyyyy

Me: well off you go then 

Child: but Child Y always gets me first

Me: ( getting MIGHTILY PISSED OFF NOW yet speaking softly ) I'm not going to go and tell Child Y who to tig and who not to. Have you asked them to give you a chance? 

Child: no but I'm always first to be tug? 

My colleague: why do you think that it is child? 

Me ( thinking : it's because you are the slowest and they don't like you because you hurt them ) 
If you don't like it don't play it. 

Child: I wanna play but Child Y always tigs me first. 

Me: what do you want me to do? I'm not going to tell Child Y off. If they are on they  can tig who they want. Look ( points to child Y chasing Child Z)  child Z has just been tug and is laughing, they've not come crying to me about it. 

Child : stamps away from me, face screwed up in a temper. Walks towards the bin, yells I HATE you and boots the bin over. Before I have time to react, runs to go in ( and hide in the cloakroom probably ) stops at the door and screams 
F*** OFF at me. 


Quite simply charming eh?! 



Lots of love from 

Rachel *Im afraid you won't get your own way with me* Radiostar xxx

27 comments:

  1. Oh, dear. Someone has some huge issues, don't they. :-(
    (no, not you!!!!)
    J x

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    1. I think I have my issues too! I won't stand for behaviour!!

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  2. Oh my!! What a different pair of scenarios! I am glad that the lego club has gone so well, that sounds like a wonderful idea. Perhaps the other child needs something like that! xx

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    1. Sadly, the other child had that. The other child shouldn't be in mainstream school right now is my considered opinion. Thankfully I have more hero than zero days!

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    2. My days run along very similar lines......what really concerns me about zero child and kids like them is that with the age of 'responsibility' now being from 10yrs old!!!! if these children don't 'get with the programme' the police could very well be knocking on their door! Keep at it as making them aware of the consequences of their actions is the way to go....now 'deep breaths' lol, :-)

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    3. So glad to hear your hero bit, it must make your role so rewarding, as for the little blighter (being polite here) I would hate to hear such language from a child, but sadly so many of them use it and their parents don't do any thing about it.

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    4. Alison and Marlene, I'm afraid child zero is definitely young offenders bound. You can predict it a mile away. Older family members have proved me right having had them through school too. Exclusion is on the cards for sure. The ones to blame are the parents. Total Jeremy Kyle fodder. Social services do NOTHING. If these children were rescued and placed with families desperate to love them, they'd stand a chance. School can only do so much, but then so much us undone and more when they go home again.

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  3. Oh dear Rachel, but I'm so pleased to hear that you have more hero than zero days.

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    1. I've had hero moments with zero child - just not on this occasion! I just try my best.

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  4. You have my sympathies my dear, quite frankly my youngest nephew is a little s*** & sounds similar to your second scenario. As for the first how incredibly sweet & lovely xx

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    1. It's a shame they are like that because this one can be sweet and lovely too - they just choose to hide it deep! Strong, firm boundaries, strong firm routines - it works! It must be hard to see your little nephew like that! Do you bite your tongue a lot?!

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  5. Hi Rachel,
    your story seems like mine practically every other day. Im not a TA but a lunchtime supervisor ( i prefer good old dinner lady but its not politically correct now is it). We have the same children do that practically every day. Whilst the other 99% are happy carefree kids the other 1% are unable to intereact with their peers. I do wonder what they will be like in about another 12 years time (and shudder at the thought). brilliant news about the lego club though, very positive vibes from that.
    Dont forget to keep smiling, even if sometimes it is through gritted teeth. take care jane

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    1. Hi Jane, I've been a dinner lady too and you are so right. But I remember being scared of the powers of the dinnerwitches when I were a lass. Most of the little bits show no respect to ours these days. Our head employs one specially trained lunchtime organiser I think ours are now called (LAUGH OUT LOUD) to Have the troubled kids in at lunch to give the rest a break!

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  6. Yikes! The lego friends club sounds brilliant, are the school going to be able to run it again next term for more kids, sounds like it really works? Maybe if you punch the other kid in the face every time he comes up to moan about playing tig-tag-tug he will eventually get the message? I'm kidding, I know that such behaviour would be frowned upon...

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    1. I ( inwardly of course) rejoice when this child gets a taste of its own medicine! It usually curbs any behaviours for a while but OMG the outrage at the injustice we get from this kid and its family is laughable. Lego friends has been deemed a total success so will continue for years to come. At the moment we just have so many children and so little time!

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  7. Oh my what a thoroughly lovely child....I don't think.
    I would be no good working in a school....lol-x-

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    1. Comes from a thoroughly lovely family Sheila. No hope.

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  8. I couldn't do your job for all the tea in China lass, you are a bloody hero even on the bad days.

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  9. Thomas loves his lego therapy sessions. I hate the word therapy in this situation though, I think they could have come up with something better and I much prefer your Lego Friends. And yes, you should give yourself a pat on the back because you do make a difference. The lady who runs the club at Thomas' school says he's come on in leaps and bounds.

    There's a boy in Thomas' class who sounds just like your child. Same issues with the same game. Wants to play tig but won't be on when he's been tagged. Or tries to make up his own rules, "you have to tag me 3 times before I'm on". Drives Thomas and his friends mad. The boy has Aspergers but of course the others don't know that, they just see a boy who won't play properly.

    I've sat through a celebration assembly this afternoon only for Thomas not to even be in there. Complete waste of my time and not very happy about it. Was so annoyed I spoke to the Head. What's the point of texting parents to invite them if the child isn't even going to be in there. Plus the car is in for service so I had to walk which added another 30 minutes onto the event. Because of that I wasn't going to bother going but Thomas looked so disappointed I changed my mind. He wasn't half as disappointed as I was though, sat there clapping for everybody else's child apart from my own. xx

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    1. M nodding and agreeing with every word Suzanne. We have celebration worships too. In fact it was Y6 sharing on Friday morning. I found out about this on Thursday night at 5pm whilst I was in Night Owls. I'd had the class on my own all week apart from Tuesday, I'd had a TA in with me but she was off sick on Friday so I went in early, had the kids rehearsed and ready by five past nine- they were BRILLIANT and we did our assembly at 9.15am! Texts go out to parents but it made me so sad because it was the opposite to you - the ones who'd I awarded star of the week, maths n writer of the week etc to, got their certificates but it was other children's parents clapping them on. Oh and the other thing that bugged me was ( and every week ) why parents of crying babies and noisy toddlers DO NOT TAKE THEM OUT IF THEY ARE CREATING WHEN THE CLASS WHO US SHARING IS DOING THEIR STINT. ESPECIALLY IF SAID NOISY BABY/TODDLER IS NOT A SIBLING TO A CHILD IN THE SPOTLIGHT. Grrrrr. I fact I bloody hate celebration worships!!

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    2. Totally with you on the crying babies. It's just so rude. But I have to say Thomas' Head has no problem announcing at the beginning that any babies or toddlers making a noise need to be taken out. If they ignore him he's not adverse to stopping assembly and asking them to go and wait in the library. It makes me laugh because after all the children and teachers have turned around to look at offending parent, it's such a walk of shame for them haha.

      Did the parents of your certificate winners have to work or do they just not bother turning up? xx

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  10. Oh Rachel, you'll always be a hero to me :-D
    It is a marvellous job that you do. You must have a lot of patience. It's your zero tale that makes me glad I no longer work in a school. It seems to be a daily occurrence. Very sad in ones so young (so says the oldie in the corner). X

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    1. After a bad zero day I do look for
      Job opportunities in Sainsburies and marks and Spencer's ( staff discount )!

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  11. I'm sending you a "top marks for patience" homemade badge with this comment. Have you happened to see the Royal Navy School prog on ch 4? Discipline and then some. The kids all jumped to and knuckled down. Maybe get a Royal Navy instructor in for a day to give you all a break ;-) xx

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