Poor little sweet baby, He has to go have a feeding tube put in, ( did I already tell you that?) and now his illness is evermore visible - but also he looks so little and poorly and ill. A pale little shadow. So pale that tomorrow he has to go have a blood transfusion. Thank goodness for medical breakthroughs over the last 100 years that makes this now trivial procedure actually life saving.
And this chokes me up. Even though all this time I've been chatting away about cancer and chemotherapy, actually what is happening right now is my little nephew is really fighting to stay alive.How can one little feeding tube bring this home? His cental line is apparent as we can feel it and are careful of it when holding him, yet he has been so sweet and smiley and happy and just so content. I am really scared for him and don't mind telling you that as I type this in the dark, I can't see the screen for tears. I have to be strong for my sister and her family. I am also having a wee weep for my little lost baby too. Sometimes life is just really REALLY shitty.