Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Locked out - This is a true story

This morning, after a fraught night trying in vain to recall the admin password I applied to my daughter's laptop I was eagerly on the case again. Many minutes passed. Many minutes. I was now late for work!
 The friggin PC is also kaput and Mark - our friendly techy guy at work said, for the price of a toblerone, he would have a look at it.

So, into a bag it went, and I lugged the approx 14stone heap of computer down the stairs. Paused to put on my coat. Keys, wallet, phone(The Lancashire Hotpots) check. Lumbared down the hall - see earlier post about the plywood, radiators, window trims etc that narrow my nice spacey hall to the width of a slim fitting pair of drainpipe jeans - got to my middle door - through, struggling to manage keys and bag etc

BRIGHT IDEA.
I know, I'll put keys int door, move into the entrance hall. ( How grande that sounds, entrance hall is about the size of a postage stamp.) Shuffle through sideways, narrowly avoiding removing my kneecaps on the rolls of flashing put there by Mr Rach, {and ok, I admit it, three pairs of my shoes}and make a successful getaway to work.

Did all of the above, pulled door behind me, turned round to turn the key in the lock..............................



I'D ONLY GONE AND PUT THE KEYS IN THE WRONG SIDE OF THE DOOR!!!!!

I uttered the words O for F$%^&&ks Sake. Sat down on my wall in despair. Stood up and tried the door - maybe I'd left the door on the latch. NO.

So, I knew what to do - called my sister, she could call to my child's high school, high jack his keys, so when I knocked out the key from the outside, i could reopen my door! Genius. Phone calls made, my plan was set...

Lisa text to say she was there. I took a hammer and some drill bits from the DT trolley. And an extra large Paper Clip. I joked to the secretary on the way out the door I had my house breaking kit with me. ( I wouldn't actually know what constitutes a house breaking kit!)

I got to my house. I knelt on my knees at the keyhole to assess the situation. Ah yes - the key was slightly turned. I opened out my extra large paper clip. I gently inserted it and caught the key at the correct point and managed to straighten it. I then started to try and knock it out - so I could unlock the door  with my son's keys ( currently in Lisa's hands )and retrieve my keys ....easy.....whilst I was concentrating on my task, Lisa calmly reached over and just opened the door with the yale key top lock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


In my stoooooopid rach mode - I  had somehow convinced myself that not only had I left the key in the door - I'd locked it too - from the inside!
THEN - I was showing Lisa what I'd done she had to stop me in alarm to check I had the keys in my hand! I think had I managed that I would have been carted off by the men in white coats!

This was what Lisa texted me later in the day.
"Did Cal get in OK?Still laffin at your MI5 issue paper clip door lock thingy that you didn't actually need. Ha HA."

How unkind of her! What do you think? :)

 ( Bloody hell - a finished story) ( I have yet to carry on my First Aid tale) 

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