2019 SATs

Well, every year at this time, on the blog somewhere will be something from me talking about how sould destroying it is having to sit and read Maths questions to children who should not even be doing these stupid tests let along Janet and Roger Middle of the roadsters.

Anyway they are also good for a chuckle. No childers were harmed in this story and my little charge was very happy with how they'd done on the day.  I'm having to paraphrase so you get the jist as I can't recall the exact words.  There was a picture of kittens...something like this.

image nicked from google

There was a statement that said. 

Here are a group of kittens, all with different masses 

 recorded here.

(Under each sillouhette was a weight eg 250g 375g etc in a random order.)

The first part of the question asked what is the difference between the kitten with the largest mass and the kitten with the smallest mass ( sic )

My cherub whispered to me, " I don't know what masses are, I don't know what it means."

I say, I can't tell you what it means, shall I read it again to you? An eager nod. The reality is I could read it forwards, backwards, in Spanish and in Latin and it would not have made it click. If I have cheated and said, it means how heavy they are, look, can you see the weights underneath? They are the masses. The poor sould would still not have understood. Anyway we went on. I re read the question stressing the words 'difference, largest and smallest - this is totally allowed under the readers for sats guidelines.

ahhhh said my charge. And correctly circled the kitten showing the smallest mass. In my head I'm thinking, bloody hell, they might just get this one. ) then circled another kitten with a bigger mass but not the largest mass ( which was 410g by the way )

So then we spend some time looking at what we have circled. I read the question again. The child looks at me and whispers - pointing at the first one they circled -

 Easy, this one has a shorter tail.

Bless!!! I then whispered back, I don't think there is enough room in the box to write all that, it's Maths, maybe they need a number. 

"Oh ok," they say nonchalently, and just write the number 10 in the box without a moment's thought! 

Anyway, its been a full on busy day. I've walked 2 miles to training, had the weekly dose of humiliation of how crap are you with your dog, then 2 miles home. Madam was too tired to eat her tea. I wasn't! It was a pork loin chop, chips and peas kinda tea here today. I'm on a course tomorrow all about the effects of ACEs on children's brains. It really is quite devastating statistics. ACEs is a bit of a buzzword really, nowt new as they've always been here, just that along with poor mental health, people are talking about them. They stand for Adverse Childhood Experiences. I will write more on these next time as my eyes are closing. 

Lots of love from 

Rachel * NOT Barbara Woodhouse* Radiostar xxx

So it's Saturday

Two posts in two successive days!

I don't know if I have ever shared these photos with you. They make me laugh though every single time I read them. William is Harry's older brother by a year. He is such a funny little thing. He is so funny. He made me laugh when Lisa said he asked her
'When will I be tall for my age?' because his sister Madeleine is super tall and gets lots of comments when they are out and about!
I also fell about laughing when Lisa texted me telling me how William was full of concern for Harry's pile of Easter Eggs going out of date..Harry isn't a glutton for chocolate like William!

Today was supposed to be rainy, but like the rock and roll rebel I am, I pegged out anyway before we went to town for some bits and bobs. And then we had to take Bluebell back to the vets for the umpteenth time in two weeks. She was spayed on Thursday 2nd May and we are all feeling the effects of enforced rest and recuperation. At first it was alright because of the metacam they had her on. She's very good and is crate trained so that helped and we have lots of kongs, puzzles and toys and games to keep her mentally stimulated but she is literally straining at the leash, despite my amazing* heelwork training. She also looks supercute in her doggy baby gro to keep her stitches from harm!
Right I have just connected my iphone to this laptop and downloaded a few snaps. Once I am organised I will do some proper get them down for posterity posts.
I've boiled a ham and it's roasting in the oven and smells amazing.

Anyway more pics -

Meet Betsy, the new school budgie after Barry sadly didn't wake up one morning. She is funny, very inquisitive and interacts far more than Barry ever did! 

I baked last Saturday for the first time in ages. Lemon maderia cake with real double cream filling.

My breakfast last Sunday. Now normarily, she actually doesn't bother us when we are eating, either at the table or on our knees but she'd just run in after eating her scrambled egg in the kitchen and as per our funny little routine, I have to say, in a high ptched voice, Have you eaten all your.....? She yips and then I go get her a treat. Here she is licking her lips at me and it looks like she really wants more eggs!! These are FROACHED eggs. The HG bought some new gadgetty egg froachers by josephjoseph.  Fried, poached eggs using no oil, just steam.

Absolutely NO remorse shown as she callously dismembered the piggy that she has had since day one when we brought her home! Piggy is now on the Shelf of Mending, along with Fishy, Octopus and two doughnuts. 

Can you see what it is yet? Had this three years now and I shaped it a bit the other day. Trying to get it to look as if it's from legs are resting on it's fat tummy. I need to buy another teeny plant though because round the back, my bunny has no tail as it's not growing down there!

When Madam steals something she shouldn't, she either brazens it out right in front of you with a fixed stare and a waggy tail or she avoids all eye contact and dashes to her hidey space under the table! She's buggered off with the HG's car washing sponge here!

My irises are putting on a good show this year.

The second of my ancient peonies are out now. The first is a single petalled cerise pink one, this is a deeper pinky red and the third usually waits til June and you think it's going to be red when in bud but it is a blousey large frilly huge palest of pinky/white. They need staking tomorrow.

Quite literally green fingered! 

Here she is just now with her new toy I bought her for being a very good girl at the Vets. She weighed 16.8kg now. This is a flat fluffy turtle with about ten indvidual squeakers in it. It kept her quiet for a while. I say quiet....


Right it's been SATs week at work and I will share a funny story with you tomorrow! Ooooh cliffhanger!
Thank you for all your comments. It's lovely to be back xx Blogging is so much easier now!

Lots of love from

Rachel * Blogging again * Radiostar xxx


*amazing, if amazing means she will walk to heel when we are walking away from the field but pulls like a train the minute we head towards it - some days we don't even get there becuase I am so dizzy from all the stopping and turning we do! They say Springers are clever, well this one needs to learn faster that walking without pulling gets you there faster!! 

Here I am, on my brand new laptop.

I cannot express  how much I am pleased with the few clicks it took to upload a photo! The HG has ruined me once more. I said I was looking for a refurbished little laptop purely for photos, blogging and embroidery file thingies for my sewing machine and voila - brand spanking new posher than I wished for laptop. He is definitely a keeper.

It has been a long time since I faffed about in Blogland and I will have to get used to blogger on a big screen. Hopefully I will be able to find all my favourite blogs to read.

News wise - nowt new unless it starts with a capital B and runs off with my slippers. I have turned into the most dreadful puppy bore. She is almost one year old already. Currently going a bit stir crazy as we had her spayed a couple of weeks ago. It will be worth it in the end. Her first and only season was a nightmare. She is so clever and adorable and perfect.

She is like my little shadow/stalker and is by my side except for when she's off lead on the field or when she has got something she is not allowed. In this photo, she has a sweetie wrapper in her mouth. Although when I am asking her, ' What have you got?' she pretends not to hear and goes to hide under the table until I go to the treat jar and say 'hand' and then she will spit out the stolen contaband for a gravybone!

 Lots of love from
Rachel * Slave to the Bluebell * Radiostar xxx